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The Cost of Fatherlessness
Anyone who doubts the reality of multigenerational legacy need only look at statistics related to fatherlessness.
Nearly 75 percent of fatherless American children will experience poverty before the age of eleven, compared to 20 percent of those raised by two parents.2 In fact, fatherlessness is the number one cause of poverty in America. Although it happens on occasion, very few children are living in poverty with a father in the home. However, poverty is not the only legacy of fatherlessness.
Children living in homes where fathers are absent are far more likely to be expelled from school.3 They are also more likely to drop out of school, develop emotional or behavioral problems, commit suicide, and fall victim to child abuse or neglect.4 Fatherless males are far more likely to become violent criminals (fatherless males represent 70 percent of the prison population serving long-term sentences).5
We have all heard these startling statistics associated with fatherlessness. Nevertheless, the trend toward fatherlessness continues. It is as though we do not care about the high price we all pay for fatherlessness. These facts should compel us to take a hard look at what we are doing to raise and train godly men and what we are willing to do to see to it that our daughters find godly men and refuse to settle for anything less.
As a pastor, I have had the unfortunate experience of trying to communicate this harsh reality to men considering divorce. It breaks my heart to realize that so many men out there are infected with the poison of self-centeredness. However, try as I might it is often impossible to get through to a man who is committed to the view that “God wouldn’t want me in an unhappy marriage” or “It’s better for the kids to have divorced parents than for them to have parents who are in conflict.”
Anyone who has been around for a while knows that these statements represent the norm. What’s worse, many of these men have heard these comments fall from the lips of pastors or “Christian counselors.” I am not suggesting that all divorced men are calloused. Nor do I believe that divorce is always a man’s “fault.” A discussion about the theology of divorce and remarriage is beyond the scope of this book. However, I do believe that the way we think about the consequences of weak, ungodly, or absent fatherhood is unbiblical and unhealthy.
The result of this is a generation of young men and women who view marriage as a temporary arrangement as opposed to a lifelong covenant. As a father, I must protect my daughter from men who think this way. I must also see to it that I do not allow such thinking in my sons. A young man who is worthy of a wife will have a clear understanding of the covenantal nature of marriage. He will also have a healthy apprehension when he thinks about the magnitude of his responsibility should he assume the role of a husband and father. He must know the weight he is taking on his shoulders and be willing to accept it. He must be a man who is willing to endure hardship for the sake of his family should he be called upon to do so.
What is it going to take for us to hear the alarm? Or as researchers Carol and Don Browning ask, what is it going to take for us to sound the alarm? They write, “We have asked dozens of people from . . . churches, ‘Have you ever heard in your church a discussion about the crisis of fatherhood?’ and have yet to hear one member say yes.”6 This is astonishing! Admittedly, this is anecdotal evidence. However, one cannot help but be alarmed by the experience of these researchers.
This excerpt is taken from 'What He Must Be' by Voddie Baucham, Crossway 2009
Dr. Voddie Baucham, Jr. has been referred to as an “Evangelist to intellectuals.” He is one of the most sought-after preachers of his generation His unique blend of sound biblical exposition, theological content, down-to-earth demeanor and engaging presence make it clear why this man is considered a modern day prophet. He is a pastor, church planter, and author of The Ever Loving Truth, Broadman /Holman, 2004; Family Driven Faith, Crossway, 2007 and his newest release What He Must Be, Crossway 2009. For more information visit www.VoddieBaucham.org